This New Year – Do Less
It’s the new year. Which means everyone is scrambling around adding goals to their lists, buying new workout clothes, making resolutions, and planning out their 2019. And although none of these things are necessarily bad, while we are continuously adding to our lives, there are also plenty of things we need to do less of. Take a look at our list of 5 things to do less of in 2019.
Less Unrealistic Expectations
Every January we come up with incredible things we are going to do in the new year – which is fantastic! But we also need to remember that we are only one person trying to accomplish amazing feats. It’s great to have goals for yourself and want to grow, but it’s also incredibly important to remember that although we should always go after the life we want, we should do it in a way that avoids burnout. There’s a reason so many people give up on their goals for the new year by March; they’re just not sustainable. So remember to push yourself, but stay within reason. I would much rather have a goal that I can actually accomplish, than one I’ll give up on after a month or two from exhaustion. It’s okay to be realistic and consider everything you have going on in your life. In fact, it’s a really good idea.
Less Attachment to Outcomes
This one is really tough for me, but it has relieved so much stress from my life. Sometimes, things might look different than we planned for, and that’s okay! It doesn’t mean that we’ve failed or that we’re not good enough. It means that things change – sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better. However, the devastation is far more intense when we are married to the idea of how something is going to look or turn out. This year, try focusing on your “why”. Why do you do the things you do, why do you want to accomplish these goals, what does it bring into your life? If you genuinely enjoy how you get somewhere, theres a greater chance you’ll be happy with where you end up, even if it looks different than expected.
The truth is, sometimes we’re going to fail. There’s no avoiding it. But failing, in and of itself, isn’t a bad thing. It’s giving up that defeats our character. So when there’s failure, which there will be, because we are human and this is life, don’t be so hard on yourself. Take it for what it is, recognize what happened, what you could do better next time, and find solutions to move forward. This doesn’t mean you should hope to fail, or that you shouldn’t re-evaluate if things seems to be going in the wrong direction, but sitting around judging the success of your whole life on one instance is not helpful. Yet somehow, it is such an easy trap to fall into. This year, let yourself know its okay to be human, its okay to have flaws. Recognize them for what they are, and move forward like the badass you are.
Less Negative Self Talk
One of the greatest quotes I’ve ever read. “Be careful what you say, because you’re listening.” I am by far the hardest person on myself than anyone else in the world. I have hurt myself more with my own words than anyone else ever has. Why do we have such different standards for ourselves than other people? Now, please, please don’t confuse this with not having standards for yourself. But think about it – a friend calls you up because they didn’t get the job they wanted. You let them know it’s okay to be upset, that making it to the final round of the interview was amazing, and that they will surely find something else if they keep trying. Simple, right? Then how come if we were in that exact same position, we would most likely tell ourselves that we were awful. Sound familiar? Unfortunately it might. Once again, this does not mean to go through life without goals, without successes, and ensuring that you tell every single person that you meet that you are a gift to the world. But it does mean that you’ll probably accomplish more if you’re rooting yourself on, instead of tearing yourself down.
This is potentially the most difficult of all. I hear it all of the time and would be rich of my sorries were worth any money. Why are we constantly apologizing for everything? Apologies most definitely have their time and place, like when we hurt someone, or bail on a friend, but you should never apologize for being yourself, taking care of yourself, or standing up for what you believe in. Try replacing apologizing with gratitude. Running late? Try, “Thanks for waiting for me!” Not able to attend something? How about, “Thanks for understanding!” Not everything deserves an apology, and doing it all of the time seems to take away from the sincerity of when it actually matters.
It’s great to have goals for the new year, but sometimes it’s not about what we add, but what we leave behind. Most importantly, remember that you do not need to rely on January 1st to make changes in your life. You have the power to start fresh whenever you need to. To make new goals, cut out negativity, and steer your life in the direction that you want it to go.